Dying star..

I know this is saddening but I just have to let it out of me. I'm ----- << this close to backsliding but I'm still hanging on because of the fellowship I'm having in church.. Hopefully everything will last.  This is a tough time that am going through and I know that I should turn to God instead but I tried and it really isn't helping.. Everything is too overwhelming.. Everytime I try climbing back up, there will be something to make sure I fall off. I can't take it anymore! I need a break from everything! Anyone out there sees this please pray for me! Cause I believe God will pull me out from the black hole like He always do and bring me back to the person I once used to be.

happen once every 365 days..

People always ask me what am i gonna do on my birthday, the answer will be the same every year i

should be staying at home. Kinda sad, huh? But i'm pretty use to it. :) I wonder who created/invented

birthdays, it got me curious that i went to google it. I got this: In History, Birthday celebrations

started with Pharaoh and was only mentioned in connection with Royality. Evidence of birthday

observances dates back before the rise of Christianity. Hmmm you can google it and read more about

it if you guys want to know more. But who i think really created Birthday? None other then

JESUS! Don't you agree with me? :) So i'm gonna spent my time with Him for today. Anyway

thinking back, the times when i had to plan many of my friends birthday. It was the greatest joy

anyone could have, planning every single thing for him/her to make that day the best time of his/her

life. Sometimes whenever i looked at friends celebrating a friend birthday, i somehow wish that

would happen to me as well BUT thinking about it nah. Must not envy or be jealous haha. I'm happy

with just the way it is now. :) Thanking God for every moment i have now. Cherishing

every moment. Thank God for awesome friends. :) Happy Birthday to me. Can't believe time flies so

fast that am ni ji u ichi/er shi yi/21 now...

the change..

I'm afraid after everything that am going through i might just change/transform into another person..

Temptations kick in when i'm in army. Thank God i make it a habit to read the devotional book + Bible

the night before the next day starts. It helps alot. I thank God for keeping me under his watch, providing

me with everything being there all the way for me. I believe You will make me the person you want me

to be.

First time experiences but if given the chance are you willing to do it?

Well i wanna thank God for what he has done in my life so far. All the things i thought i will never get a chance or have the courage to do it. He opened the doors for me. Coming back to WRPF was one decision i will never regret in life. It's all according to God's planning and his timing. My life escalated forward ever since i first step foot back in WRPF. Here's what happened.

1. First time sharing testimonial in YAY in front of everyone. (Here's a secret, i never once dare to share anything even in cell group level!) So its a pretty big step for me.

2. Sharing on how God change my life in YAY's transformer event. (A much bigger scale compared to sharing in normal YAY session.)

3. I must say this! FIRST TIME EVER Dancing! In front of a crowd somemore!! For YAY's 1st Anniversary. (Seriously God gave me the courage to do that otherwise i wouldn't have done it on my own. Never would i have thought i would do it!)

4. Last one for now! First time SINGING in front of people.Thank God & Ethel for giving me the chance. :) I can't sing plus i don't dare to sing in front of others as i fear i will sound awful. (Only time i ever sing is at home alone, singing and worshiping God.)



All of the above that i have mentioned, all of them are stuff that i would never think of doing and will try

every way to avoid it but question is are you willing to do it if your given the chance? With God all things are possible.

It's like a stepping stone for me, the higher i go the harder it is.

But whatever that i am going through, if God puts me in it, i'm sure he will lead/direct a way out

for me no matter how hard the situation is so i really Thank God. :) All this memories i will keep it in my

heart. As for now, i am going through a tougher phrase of life and that is ARMY!!! I have no idea on what

to expect but i believe your always there for me. With the weekends to look forward to spending time with

the most awesome/wonderful/fantastic/amazing/explosive/lovely group of people.(Choose one or all of them haha)

I pray i won't get to miss out on anything again, Lord. I just wanna be there. :s

Thank you for everything. :)

There is none like you, Lord. <3

Past.... Present....

I want to feel wanted... I want to be of use to you... I want to learn more things...

How am i gonna learn, if i'm kept from stuff. I feel like am worthless... I'm not good

at anything... I can't be of help in any areas. I'm without talents... Who would love

a person who is a nobody? I thought i was a goner. But i can't help but think i'm special in God's eyes.

I find it odd, a guy with no talents, abilities being so love by Him. Love is the word.

Without love there would be nothing. Seeing many loving people in Church makes me

wonder, Man i'm so lucky to be here! The only hope being found there. Regret not

attending it in my earlier part of life. But i guess its God's plan for me to be

there at that timing. I need to appreciate it more. The world out there is a

battlefield i tell you! No mercy for each other, not forgiving, being shot in the

back and the lists goes on. Church people are so different i tell you! It feels

like am in mini Heaven. Given a chance to help out and show what God's given hidden

talents in me are. As i have said before about this Church being special.

It's just not any Church, its WRPF the one and only. Thank

God for the memories. Thank God for letting me be here. Thank God for the love that

you have shown me. Thank God for giving me the coolest set of friends, i can't ask

for anything better. I look forward to the many more years and awesome times with

you guys.


Never have i ever felt so love before. It's time i start extending/sharing my love
to everyone be it in Church or world. :)

Last of all after reading Jarrid Wilson's blog. Not only did it minister to me but i felt its gonna be useful for others so look below!



Just because things seem to be going wrong, doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not doing things right. God has a distinct way of incorporating His love into each of our lives. And while you might think you’re God’s target practice, you’re probably and most definitely wrong.

Think About It:

Just because you think things aren’t going right, doesn’t mean you are doing something wrong. 99% of the time, what we want isn’t necessarily what God wants. So, if you are consistently seeking after God and obeying His commands, there is nothing to worry about. Press On. God will get you through this season.

But, if you are not thirsting after Him daily and living a Christ-like image, then maybe you do have some things to change.

The Point:

Sometimes, God uses the disasters around us to help rebuild the heart within us.

God has a purpose. God has a plan. And everything happens for a reason. Trust in His purpose, and seek after His plan.

Sometimes, God has to break us down before He can build us up.

Romans 8:28 – And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

- Jarrid Wilson

Struggling.....

I've no idea why i am struggling to show myself. My emotions, my feelings. Wishing i

could get away from every worldly issue. Get away from everything. Somewhere really

quiet. Somewhere where i can not worry about anything. Searching for myself, i'm lost

somewhere... God could you bring me back?

Overworking

I'm getting drained out. I'm really tired. Although i may

be in my 20s, i feel like am 80. I wish my heart can rest. It's been working 24/7, 365

days. Every now and then, i get chest pain. I wish it would stop, I wish the valve to

my heart isn't loose. I want to have feel normal.

The change

So much things has been going on... As i thought to myself if the change was really

worth it? The season of change for me, this journey isn't gonna be easy as i fell many

times.

Forgive me father as i have made mistakes and said hurtful things. I want You to take

control of the throne of my life. Make me the kind of person You want me to be.

Breaking out of the nutshell..

Hmmm seems like i'm mostly awake at night.

Anyway YAY's 1st anniversary is coming, 10th March is the date. The thought of wanting

to help out in it came into my mine. But which area can i help out in? I wonder...

It didn't take too long before Debbie asked if i wanted to help her in ''DANCING''

O.O dancing? I rejected her cause its beyond me to dance in front of everyone.

Heh.. But this didn't once slip out of my mind. The thought seems to be stuck in my

head. I was asked again to do it but i rejected it again.. And then came a whisper

into my ears, asking me to step out of my comfort zone. I spoke to God regrading

this, and i came to realized that We only live life ONCE why restrict ourselves to

do things we are afraid of? Wouldn't it be great if we could do things without

restricting ourselves? Just don't think so much and just have fun. Seeing everyone

putting effort in it makes me wanna have a go at it as well.. I'm gonna try my best.

Stepping out of my comfort zone once again.. I'm sure everyone and i will have fun.

:)



Philippians 4:13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Faith.. Hope.. Love..

God is the reason why even in pain, I smile; in confusion, I understand; in betrayal, I trust; and in fear, I continue to fight.

Life isn't easy, but when you believe in God, everything will be just okay in the end.

God will always stay with you. Even in the darkest of time. Even when you have a million things to fear about.



If Jesus wasn't there for me during dark times, i would have been long lost.

I won't even be here typing this. He changed me so MUCH.

Think back and wonder how hard was it to smile, laugh and talk.

Now i can't live without a smile, laughter or even talking to others.

Haha i can't even lie properly, i can't even do my trademark no smile face expression without

laughing halfway through. Oh God, live would have be so dull without You. What can i do without You?

You take me back again
You’ve shown me life
You’ve opened my eyes
So I give You my praise
Yeah I give You my all
You’ve shown me life
You’ve opened my eyes
To the truth that there’s no greater love

Prayers & Answers...

I have so many things in my head. As i prayed and asked God about the many things in

life. I get answers from Him

through my parents which is i would say, pretty awesome. I would never think that my

Dad would tell me that. I will keep that in mind. Thank you Daddy God for everything

that You have done in my

life so far.

Things won't be the same..

Things isn't gonna be the same as it used to be

Can we turn back time?

No we can't.

All we could do is treasure every moment of it.

Everything

Loving the song Everything by Tim Hughes

God in my living
There in my breathing
God in my waking
God in my sleeping

God in my resting
There in my working
God in my thinking God in my speaking

Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything
Be my everything

God in my hoping
There in my dreaming
God in my watching
God in my waiting

God in my laughing
There in my weeping
God in my hurting
God in my healing

Christ in me
Christ in me
Christ in me the hope of glory
You are everything

You are everything
You are everything
You are everything
You are everything

Jesus everything
Jesus everything
Jesus everything
Jesus everything



God in my everything

Putting God in every decision we make

Seek Him first!

Clueless...

I really wonder what God is trying to tell me. It seems pretty weird that whenever

Pastor Phillip Huan preached, the sermon always speaks to me. God is speaking

to me but i can't figured out what He is trying to imply!! So frustrating at times..

Why put me in that situation but forsake me? << That's what i said while praying.

And the amazing thing is Pastor Phillip Huan said the exact same thing; Why put me in

that situation but forsake me? After he said that, he said God will never forsake

you!! I guess God is trying to tell me His always there whether i am aware of it or

not. Heh having doubt in everything and not having faith in God isn't a good thing.

Trust Him i must.

Last Sunday during altar call. Pastor Phillip Huan was inviting people to come forward

if they are having etc, struggles/problems in their life. I felt like God was speaking

to me asking me to go up front. But i was afraid. Then i prayed and told Him how great

it would be if someone would to go up with me. Less then a moment later a name came

into my mind. It was Donnie!!! After that i turned my head to the right and look who i

saw!!! DONNIE!!! I was like OMG it can't be!! That's fast! So i quickly turn away,

looking elsewhere hoping he would not see me. But Donnie approached me. He asked me to

go to the front. He wants to pray for me. I was shock and amazed at the same time.

So amazed by how fast Jesus replies me. Really amazing.

What does the Bible say about Being Materialistic?

I came across the topic about Being Materialistic. I thought about it for a moment. And I don't feel good about it so i ask God about it. This is what i got.

In Christian songs and Christian magazines we have made the idea that a sincere Christian cannot be a materialist into a sort of cliche. Call a believer materialistic and you will meet with vocal protest. No one wants to be a materialist. And no one believes that he is a materialist.

Almost any Christian can repeat 1 Timothy 6:10a, "the love of money is the root of all evil."

The more that material things and their acquisition, preservation, and disposal occupy our lives (and consequently, our hearts), the less room there is for God's spirit to work in us and the more our joy as Christians is stolen by the world. Christ's description, in the parable of the sower(Luke 8), says that the cares of the world are like weeds that "choke" the word of God.

Societies have become secular and humanistic in nature. Humanism denies any spiritual nature of mankind. Man/Woman has set himself/herself and his/her material desires (his/her idols) above all else, including God.

Materialism is sin and its effects are sin!

Here's 1 Bible Verse to help,

1 John 2:16
For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.



Signing off! :)